1. A man went to the E.R. after scrubbing himself too hard with a loofah.

2. A guy was using a French press when it shattered and spilled hot coffee on his crotch.

3. A dad got karate chopped in the groin by his kid. He went to the E.R. 10 days later because he was still hurting.

4. A man accidentally ran straight into the tip of a mop handle.

5. A guy got caught in his zipper, and was still stuck in it when he showed up at the hospital.

6. A guy was sitting on the toilet holding a nail file . . . leaned forward to grab toilet paper . . . and stabbed himself in his business.

7. A man was working out with a friend when an elastic exercise band slipped out of the friend's hand, and the handle struck him in the groin.

8. A guy was having a pillow fight with his dog. The dog lunged for the pillow and accidentally bit him down there.

9. A guy's groin piercing got caught in a car door. And another guy's groin piercing got caught in a dishwasher door. A third guy also slammed his junk in the fridge.

10. A man was using a penis pump and suddenly heard a POP.

11. Some idiot tried to circumcise himself with a pair of scissors.

12. A guy ended up in the E.R. after putting a ZIP TIE around his junk while getting-it-on with his girlfriend.

13. A man was lying in bed with a HANDGUN . . . leaned forward . . . and accidentally shot himself in the crotch.

14. A guy got hit in the groin with a soccer ball . . . then again with a football later that day and had to go to the hospital.

15. A guy was playing basketball when a baseball from a nearby field flew in and hit him in the crotch.

16. A guy passed out at his bachelor party, so his buddies glued his junk to his stomach.

17. A man was sitting on a freshly lacquered wood bench while naked. His junk stuck to the bench when he leaned over, and got crushed by his leg.

18. A drunk guy thought he was applying a "sexual stimulant," but it was really toilet bowl cleaner.

19. A dude somehow got his wedding ring struck on the base of his junk.

20. A guy was watching football . . . got excited when his team scored . . . and accidentally punched himself in the nuts.

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Nick Wize