Jeffrey The Goose Will Make You Believe The Impossible.

posted by Carmine -

WARNING: Some Strong Language 

‘The Legend of Jeffrey The Goose’ is one that will be told for generations. It’s a story of overcoming the impossible. The kind of movie Hollywood execs would sell their souls to make. In a world that can be so dark, Jeffrey and his human companions are the light showing us the way. A baby goose getting separated from it’s family has a 99.999999% chance of dying. Sure, that stat is probably false since I made it up, but what if it’s not? No doubt Jeffrey ends up in the little pond in the sky without the heroics of these dudes. I thought there was no shot Jeffrey would follow them. But damn was I wrong, and Jeffrey was moving those little webbed feet faster than any goose had before. 

Even at this point I didn’t think they would actually find his family. Then the impossible became possible as they spotted J’s squad across the water. Jeffrey didn’t make things easy either as he wouldn’t go passed the fence and towards his family on his own. In fairness he was probably shook and that could have been any random Geese family. The humans knew they didn’t come all this way to stop now. So, they scaled that fence risking their own safety and most likely trespassing in the process to help get Jeffrey a little closer. At this point my heart was racing faster than Jeffrey’s feet. Is that really his family I thought? What are the chances they find a family of Geese who’s little ducklings look just like our protagonists? 

Now as J got closer and closer the humans could only go so far, as they were in real mortal danger entering ‘The Den Of Geese’. Fun Fact: Geese have killed more people than Unicorns.(Google that if you don’t believe me) If this was a movie and not real life, some dramatic music would be playing as Jeffrey was about to be reunited! Only thing, Jeffrey is a complete dumbass and goes the wrong way. Maybe that’s why he got lost in the first place and jumps in the water. Are you ducking kidding me Jeff? Maybe he realized they weren’t his family and said “screw this I’m out of here” What an awful way to end such an epic journey. But wait!!! Mother Goose spots J and goes “Is that Jeff Jeff?” Which causes Poppa Goose to take a look and go “yep looks exactly like the rest of them” and they jump in to save their least likely to go to college son. What a wild ride and something I would have never believed if I didn’t see it with my own eyes. So if you’re ever feeling down and that life has dealt you a bad hand. Remember this, nothing is impossible and sometimes all you need is a little help from a couple of stoners in the city to help guide you on your way. (Don’t know if these guys are actually stoners or not, just a joke in an otherwise very serious blog) 


Those that laughed and said Geese aren’t dangerous...

Here’s a gang of them trying to drown a child.

No big deal, just a “harmless” Goose making a Gorilla it’s bi**@

Okay this one should have attacked this dude.

You can find tons more examples of Geese going gangsta. I just can’t stomach the carnage to continue. 

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